First, let me say that I don’t believe in purchasing only stereotypical toys that reinforce gender roles of boys and girls, nor do I feel that by allowing my son to play with a baby doll he will suddenly become gay or suffer from a gender identity disorder.
I know of many, many parents who are vehemently opposed to their sons playing with toys categorized as ‘girly’. They come from the old-school belief that says allowing boys to play with a baby doll will somehow make him effeminate, and, so, they put pressure on their sons to conform to their unrealistic macho expectations by only purchasing boys’ toys to instill masculinity in their sons. It’s wrong, in my opinion. And ludicrous.
I strongly believe in not influencing my children's interests based on stereotypical gender roles, instead offering up a wide selection of different toys and allowing them to discover for themselves with what and how they like to play.
In fact, I bought Corbin a talking vacuum cleaner during the summer because he was scared of ours. I figured if he had one his size he’d be less intimidated, and – it worked. Now, every time he sees his dad vacuuming, he scrambles to find his and proudly ‘vacuums’ alongside Jim. It’s great! I believe it teaches him about responsibilities in life and independence. Inevitably, he will live on his own at some point.
Also, we purchased a chef’s kitchen for him for Christmas this year. Cooking is a basic life skill and there are plenty of world-famous male chefs out there – gone are the days when kitchen sets were just for girls. Everyone should at least know the rudiments of feeding themselves, and imaginary play is a terrific foundation to get him comfortable in the kitchen and with domesticity in general.
It’s not inappropriate. It’s healthy.
Yes, my son plays with baby dolls and My Little Ponies and prefers Dora to Diego. So what! He also plays vigorously with footballs, trucks, and tools and loves to wrestle and roughhouse with his dad. My girls, when they were little, often played with guns, trucks, and tools in addition to their baby dolls and dress up outfits.
I can only hope that when Corbin begins school, as did the girls, he’s been conditioned and encouraged enough at home to be who he is, stand up for what he feels, and continue to play with what he wants to at any given moment. I do not want my son to feel demoralized by teachers and/or peers who discourage his individuality by attempting to socialize him with their preconceived notions of what make a boy.
9 comments:
I totally agree... my mom on the otherhand? Not so much. She was convinced that the kitchen we bought when he was two would make him grow up to be a "chef" - this was her euphanism for gay. She was further distressed when she figured out his baby doll had a penis. 'Cause, you know, we don't talk about penises.
K
When I saw the title of this on Facebook, I thought it was going to be a funny piece. I'm sorry that it isn't. That there are still people in the world with those kind of attitudes is so very sad.
What does it make my son, who at 2 would lift his shirt & stick a baby doll up there?
Goes the same for little girls that play with trucks & legos. Mine could "Lincoln log" with the best of 'em!
As long as your son plays with the other types of toys too, I think it's fine that he plays with dolls too. Learning to cook and vacuum are sure nice life skills to learn as well.
Happy SITS Saturday Sharefest!
My boys are 15 and 14 now but when they were little it was a constant battle with their dad and my parents about dolls. My boys had dolls and it didn't turn them gay , omgoodness. A doll is not going to that.
They both play football in high school and are normal teenage boys.
Great post
I can relate. My hubby thought it was aweful our son played with his sister's doll. I didn't see anything wrong with it and bought him a boy doll.
I felt he was imitating how to be a good father not that he was girly or would be gay. Believe me, He plays rough and loves his trucks. And now that he's older he has no interest in playing with dolls.
good post! Stopping by from Prof. Family Manager. This is so true. When our son was 2, he really wanted and "clean up" set for Christmas. The only one we could find was hot pink. My husband was mortified. I told him "who cares" and "get over it". He did. Our son loved the set and at 6, still plays with it!
My nephew plays with them in fact he has a whole tub of barbie dolls. My sister supports him and I think it's awesome... love this!! Your the best... So glad sits sent me:) Now I'm following!!:) Muahhh
I'm late to the party as usual (been a busy few weeks). I never had boys, but my sister does, and they boys play with dolls and kitchen sets and play house, and they are perfectly well-adjusted kids. They also play with "boy" things. Their sister plays with "boy" things. What is the big deal? It's just PLAY, for cryin' out loud!
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