This Is The True Meaning Of Christmas: Friends and Family

This has been, by far, the most wonderful holiday season in many, many years.  I feel so incredibly blessed, and loved, to have had two complete days of celebration with family and friends. 

Christmas Eve was spent at home, which is a tradition my Mother started when we were young, with friends and family stopping over to share in a holiday open house complete with appetizers and drinks, followed by dinner, and then, the grand finale, opening of presents. 

We invited Jim's extended family, Charlie, and some of our close friends and their kids.  All the kids were home and John's girlfriend even spent the holiday with us.  We had people in and out throughout the day offering baked goods and an over abundance of hugs, kisses and well wishes. 

Charlie waited until the last minute, as usual, to buy his presents for the girls, and came knocking at noon for help wrapping all the fantastic bargains he found.  And boy, did he find a lot.  We did this year what we did last year - combine all the presents from us to give to them on Christmas Eve, as well as separate the Santa presents to be waiting for them when they woke up Christmas morning - it works out great because Charlie has more discretionary income than we do so he purchases the bigger ticket items and we focus on necessities, basics and stocking stuffers.  So, while I was busy in the kitchen preparing crab tartlets, spinach and artichoke dip and arranging jumbo shrimp cocktail on a platter, the girls were helping wash veggies and decorate platters, and Jim and Charlie were in the basement wrapping presents. 

Many people don't understand our arangement and think it odd that we would invite my ex-husband into our family.  While it may seem odd to the outside world, I can't think of a better way to demonstrate to my children that they are loved by ALL of us, and regardless of what happened between the adults in their lives, their best interests, their comfort, their needs...are the most important priority.  Their happiness is not negotiable! We may look unconventional, but families in today's modern world don't look like they did twenty-five years ago.  My daughters are happier because we opened the door to more creative methods of parenting.  They feel comfortable going back and forth at will.  Sometimes they want to be with me more than their dad, and other times, they want their dad.  It's never planned.  It just happens.  And, once in awhile, Charlie will call ahead of time and make plans with the girls for the weekend, only to have them back out at the last minute.  Its happened to me as well.  It hurts, but I believe it's counterproductive to force them.  So, he will instead drop by the house and spend time with them, drink a beer or two with Jim, ask them again if they're sure they don't want to go with him.  Sometimes they change their minds and go, and other times, Carley is the only one who wants to go.  I have noticed though that Kara is always more receptive to going when he mentions shopping...hmmm!

The girls left for Michigan, with Charlie, at 9:00 AM Christmas morning to spend some time with his side of the family, and, his new girlfriend, Rosie, and her daughter, Cristina, will be meeting them there.   I have not yet met this woman.  To say it bothers me is an understatement.  I've been hearing more and more about her from the girls, and Charlie, but he still insists it's nothing serious.  I dunno.  Inviting your girlfriend to meet the parents seems pretty serious to me.  Not to mention the fact that I never introduced the girls to any man I was dating.  Jim was the first, and only, man they met and it wasn't until we were at a serious point.  I never wanted to be the single mom with a revolving door.  I think it sends the wrong message to kids, and so, I never did it.   The girls aren't coming home until New Year's Day and I miss them already.  This is the hard part - when they go away for extended periods - my chest feels heavy and I suffer horrible separation anxiety. 

Happy Holidays!